Are You Having Trouble Saying No?
How often do you find yourself whispering “YES” with your mouth when the rest of your being is screaming “NO, NO, NO!”? So many of us are prone to this. Here's how you can go from conforming to confident!
How often do you find yourself whispering “YES” with your mouth when the rest of your being is screaming “NO, NO, NO!”?
So many of us are prone to this.
Our reasons? We are:
- trying to AVOID CONFRONTATION
- attempting to KEEP THE PEACE
- struggling NOT to HURT SOMEONE’S FEELINGS
But to what end? Are we really keeping the peace? Is it even possible to spare someone’s feelings 100% of the time?
If you’ve lived into your twenties you have experienced countless situations where - no matter how good your intent, character, and attempts at compromise - someone winds up hurt, disappointed or upset.
And what we sacrifice for such a flawed process? Our INNER PEACE.
By saying “yes” when we mean “no”, we are disturbing our inner peace. Only YOU are RESPONSIBLE for your INNER PEACE, and if you don't prioritize it, you are training others to do the same!
Learning to say “NO” when you mean “NO” comes with 4 MAJOR BENEFITS:
- you SET HEALTHIER BOUNDARIES
- you TRAIN OTHERS to RESPECT those boundaries
- you FIND YOUR VOICE
- you LEARN TO LET GO
If this HABIT is one you have developed and refined like so many others, TRANSITIONING to YOUR TRUTH will be difficult. Those who have benefited in the past from your constant complying will especially challenge you, as they are unaccustomed to it.
Now, you may be asking: HOW do I GO from CONFORMING to CONFIDENT?
START with an INVENTORY of the people you have a hard time speaking and sharing your truth with. ANSWER the following questions to begin your list:
- Who DRAINS YOU?
- Who STIFLES YOUR GROWTH?
- Who are those who DO NOT LISTEN or SILENCE YOU?
Then have an HONEST CONVERSATION about how you feel with those in your inventory. Be ready for some to be unreceptive. And with those who are receptive, your new relationship will flourish!
We have created a FREE downloadable worksheet to assist you in getting closer to YOUR TRUTH! Complete the form below to receive an immediate download in your inbox!
MY TRUTH WORKSHEET
Remember, if you continue to IGNORE your INNER VOICE and needs, the STRESS WILL BUILD UP and you will be putting your MENTAL HEALTH IN JEOPARDY.
Always, always say, “YES!” to your PEACE OF MIND!
Have a great week!
Be Grateful for Whatever Comes
Earlier this week I came across a beautiful poem by Rumi titled The Guest House. For me, this poem was a reminder of the importance of gratitude, right focus and making a determination to shift to a more positive mindset. Remember, there is so much to be grateful for – if we only mindfully shift our perspectives!
Earlier this week I came across a beautiful poem by Rumi titled The Guest House. I have included the full poem below, so you may read it at your leisure.
For me, this poem was a reminder of the importance of gratitude and right focus. When I say “right focus”, I mean focusing, not ONLY on your faults and the things you’d like to change but also on your positive traits, strengths, and accomplishments.
Rumi describes depression and joy similarly as visitors who come to guide us. He does not say one is more valuable than the other, but that we must acknowledge BOTH!
This has been my message to you over the last few weeks with the “Look in the Mirror” Exercise and “Inner Strength Worksheet” downloads: to recognize that the good and bad experiences work equally to help us grow.
Do not judge your sorrow. Do not stay stagnant. With acceptance, let each guest come and go with the lesson. Most importantly, do not fall into the trap of only seeing the negative, but make a determination to shift to a more positive mindset.
We understand that we can use some encouragement with this goal which is why we created our “Inner Strength Worksheet” to help you shift your focus. There are also only 5 MORE DAYS to take advantage of our FREE 30-MINUTE Inner Strength Boost Sessions. I invite you to complete the worksheet then click the button below to sign up for a session.
Remember, there is so much to be grateful for – if we only mindfully shift our perspectives!
Enjoy, share the poem, and have a great week!
Re-Discover Your Inner Strength
We MUST all do a better job at shifting to a positive mindset and taking a few minutes out of every day to reflect on all our victories — large and small!
We have created a convenient "Inner Strength" Worksheet to help you with this. If you are stuck on the “whys” and “what ifs”, this worksheet is tailored to help you re-discover your inner strength and focus on your “winning” moments instead! Enjoy!
I get it. You are swamped with all the extra responsibilities and social obligations that the end of the year brings. I also understand that this is the season for self-evaluation — most of it done in a negative and highly destructive manner!
Last week I proposed that the Counseling Space tribe complete a brief “Look in the Mirror” Exercise designed to help you turn your attention from what could have been to WHAT IS.
For those who didn’t get a chance to visit the Counseling Space website to complete the exercise, I am now including a convenient “Inner Strength Worksheet” in the body of today’s post.
The questions included in the worksheet are not unlike those I ask clients who may be stuck on the “whys” and “what ifs” instead of focusing on their “winning” moments! This worksheet is specifically tailored to encourage you to take stock of all your accomplishments (large and small), remind you of your inner strength, and nourish your spirit!
COMPLETE the FORM below to receive immediate downloads of ALL 3 worksheet pages!
INNER STRENGTH WORKSHEET
If you would like to discuss any revelations and breakthroughs after completing the “Inner Strength Worksheet”, please CLICK the BUTTON below to schedule a FREE 30-MINUTE Inner Strength Boost Session! These sessions are ONLY valid until November 24th.
We MUST all do a better job at shifting to a positive mindset.
Let’s hold each other accountable to take a few minutes out of every day to reflect on all our victories — large and small!
Have a great week!
Look in the Mirror
The end of the year is approaching, and our minds are preoccupied with shopping, holiday preparations, year-end performance reviews and — most of all — our own personal life evaluations. In this post, we share a brief “Look in the Mirror” Exercise with you. It is designed to help you turn your attention from what could have been to what is!
There are 56 days left in the year. Let’s approach them with a feeling of achievement, so that we may end 2017 on a triumphant note!
The end of the year is approaching, and our minds are preoccupied with shopping, holiday preparations, year-end performance reviews and — most of all — our own personal life evaluations.
As we turn back the clock and the days get shorter and colder, we are often reminded of the resolutions, goals, and plans that we had just last January. And I don’t know if it’s the winter blues, but we all fall into the trap of focusing on all the things we didn’t do rather than on the things we actually accomplished — no matter how small!
This is why I am sharing this brief “Look in the Mirror” Exercise with you. It is designed to help you turn your attention from what could have been to WHAT IS!
LOOK IN THE MIRROR EXERCISE
Note: Please find a quiet space where you will be uninterrupted for 12 – 15 minutes.
Q: What are 3 things (big or small) that you have accomplished this year? Write these down.
1. _______________________________
2. _______________________________
3. _______________________________
As you look at your list of accomplishments, think on the following:
1. Was it planned?
2. When did it happen?
3. Who helped you?
4. What helped you?
Note: Please take a few minutes to be silent as you gather your thoughts and complete the exercise.
How did completing this personal inventory feel to you? Did you think you wouldn’t be able to find 3 accomplishments until you made this space to think about it? Did it also help you recognize just how many resources around you go unnoticed or under-appreciated?
If you did, no worries, we ALL do it.
However, we MUST do a better job at shifting to a positive mindset. And this means taking a few minutes out of every day to reflect on the present moment.
Have a great week!
What To Do When a Therapist Doesn’t Take Insurance
Your mental wellness is important! If you have gone as far as to research, select, and call an ideal therapist, do not be so quick to hang up — or give up — on the first call if they do not take your insurance. There are options available.
Discover the ways in which you may use your current insurance plan to offset therapy costs with an out-of-network provider.
Countless potential clients contact me and the conversation starts something like this:
Potential Client: “Do you take my health insurance?”
Me: “I don’t accept your plan, but….”
After an uncertain pause, I would share the ways in which they could use their current insurance plan to offset therapy costs with an out-of-network provider.
You DO NOT have to wreck your budget to start your journey to wellness!
As I walk potential clients through the steps they should follow and questions they should ask their insurance provider, I am often surprised by how many are unaware about 3 IMPORTANT points:
That it may be possible to receive reimbursement for sessions if the provider they are seeking does not accept their insurance.
Whether they qualify for reimbursement under their current plan.
The deductible and reimbursement amounts involved when using an out-of-network provider.
After sharing the relevant information, many eventually take action and follow-up with me to start therapy using their out-of-network options. I have even had other clients who call within 1 - 3 days to move forward by paying out of pocket because they felt comfortable and appreciated the time I took to educate them about their coverage options!
Your mental wellness is important. If you have gone as far as to research, select, and call an ideal therapist, do not be so quick to hang up — or give up — on the first call if they do not take your insurance. There are options available. Be persistent in discovering ways in which you can comfortably afford therapy, so that you may start your wellness journey sooner than later!
COMPLETE the form below to DOWNLOAD our Health Insurance Cheat Sheet. This will take you step by step through the questions you should ask your insurance provider when considering an out-of-network mental health professional. Note: these questions are helpful for BOTH medical and mental health services.
HEALTH INSURANCE CHEAT SHEET DOWNLOAD
For many, enrollment is fast approaching. Refresh your health goals, and choose a plan that will support BOTH your mental and physical wellness intentions!
Have a great week!