Your Mental Health Needs Perspective
After an unexpected tragedy, we are often ONLY reminded of the superficial cliches of "life is short" and "live it to the fullest." However, LIVING WELL isn't just about checking items off a bucket list or living in the moment but living with self-awareness, self-compassion, and openness.
No, we are not late, instead, we decided to wait.
We decided not to go on social media immediately after the tragic loss of a highly respected sports icon. Although many used social media platforms as a tool to express their grief and shock we are aware that there are individuals who were triggered due to their personal experiences. Perhaps, for some, seeing tragedy dominate their social media feed shifted their mood and led them to avoid social media altogether. We also can’t help to think about those who are the loved ones of the victims who learned about the loss on social media and are now constantly reminded by quotes, clips, and other images.
Many of our clients have been sharing their feelings about the loss and how it has triggered unexpected feelings. This is not surprising.
It’s important to realize that moments of loss require spaces for grief, shock, and other mixed emotions. However, during this phase, perspective on life is often disregarded.
Unfortunately, we are often ONLY reminded of the superficial cliches of "life is short" and "live it to the fullest." LIVING WELL isn't just about checking items off a bucket list or living in the moment, but living with self-awareness, self-compassion, and openness.
We want to remind you of the HEALING POWER of having a healthy perspective on life.
Here are THREE (3) ways to nurture a healthy perspective on life:
Seek progress and not perfection. This applies to you and your loved ones. Be honest when you look for perfection, and understand that you are risking comparison and that will lead to a host of unhealthy feelings of inadequacy for your mental health. Instead ask, "Am I making progress in life and are my relationships evolving to deeper mutual connection and understanding?"
Be aware that forgiveness has a different meaning for everyone. Are you still waiting for forgiveness from someone who, possibly, does not share the same meaning or value of forgiveness as you do? Are you giving someone the power to force you to carry emotional weight? Forgive yourself for not knowing, for being scared to move forward, for holding on to emotions that caused stagnation in your life. We have a right to ask that forgiveness is received or accepted but it should be done willingly and not forced. “I’m sorry” is a powerful and healing statement when said to ourselves and others.
Live in acceptance. We have to accept that we do not leave this earth without suffering battles, some of which we will win and others we will lose and learn from. Also, remember that battles are not conquered alone. If you are facing a battle, you don’t have to do it alone. There is always someone out there who has walked or is walking the same path and understands.
Be aware, compassionate, and patient with yourself when struggling with your mental health. Healing is a journey that starts with you. Why not choose this VERY moment to have a NEW perspective on life — and not wait for another tragedy to do so.
From Stress to Success: How Therapy Helped a NYC Subway Rider Reach Their Destination
Anxiety is real and can take over your life but we don’t have to let it!
In this post, learn more about how we can work together to cope and decrease your anxiety with proven and effective anxiety reducing coping skills that will get you on the way to your life’s grandest goals.
Written by Counseling Space Clinician, Evelyn Crespo, LCSW-R
Ever had the dreaded feeling of getting on the NYC subway?
You think, "It won’t be that bad this time, I’ll just get on the train and act like I'm okay. Like the overcrowdness doesn’t bother me, the threat of someone or me getting hurt doesn’t scare me, or that I won’t have a panic attack and lose my job because the train is late again. I’ll just pretend I don’t have those emotions or thoughts and get on the subway and hope for the best." But that’s not what happens - you get anxious, maybe you get off the train and decide to wait for the next one and end up leaving the station and going home, or you get into an argument with someone, or you witness something scary.
If you don’t have coping skills to manage these emotions they won’t get better, they may even get worse causing you to avoid the subway and take overpriced cabs or just miss living the life you want.
I was working with a client who would say the subway brought out the worst in him. He always felt people were looking at him and he would get all in his head, all the negative beliefs he had would take over and he would get restless, his heartbeat would rise, he would often get off the train at this point and never reach his destination. He lost many job opportunities because of it. One day when he was on the train and started to feel overwhelmed, anxious, and self-conscious he put on some calming music, drank some water, and used one of the crisis mode skills. Next session he happily reported making it to his destination on time and feeling empowered that the anxiety did not take control over him. He reported that this transformed his life. He felt he could take the train anywhere because he had this skill, this ability to tune out the negative voices in his head and focus on his goal. He was ecstatic and it was contagious; I was so happy for him.
The number of clients I’ve worked with that report that the mindfulness or other coping skills that I’ve taught them has helped reduce their stress is at least 80%. The research shows how daily mindfulness practice increases brain functioning and improvement. See this link for more: https://www.apa.org/monitor/2012/07-08/ce-corner.
I have my own mindfulness practice and notice the difference when I’m on my game and reaching goals. As I stated earlier, this client’s life changed, which is why I do what I do — I want to help people feel better and reach their life goals. His life is more his own now than prior to having these skills.
In the almost 14 years I have been a practicing NY psychotherapist, I have seen how this changes people’s ability to ride the NYC subway and break down the barriers preventing them from reaching their goals. For as much as we dislike the NYC subway most of us find ourselves taking it wherever we are going and if we want to get to OUR destination we need all the skills we can learn.
Anxiety is real and can take over your life but we don’t have to let it!
Click here and learn more about how we can work together to decrease your anxiety and learn to cope with proven and effective anxiety reducing coping skills that will get you on the train to wherever you choose your destination to be.
Be Grateful for Whatever Comes
Earlier this week I came across a beautiful poem by Rumi titled The Guest House. For me, this poem was a reminder of the importance of gratitude, right focus and making a determination to shift to a more positive mindset. Remember, there is so much to be grateful for – if we only mindfully shift our perspectives!
Earlier this week I came across a beautiful poem by Rumi titled The Guest House. I have included the full poem below, so you may read it at your leisure.
For me, this poem was a reminder of the importance of gratitude and right focus. When I say “right focus”, I mean focusing, not ONLY on your faults and the things you’d like to change but also on your positive traits, strengths, and accomplishments.
Rumi describes depression and joy similarly as visitors who come to guide us. He does not say one is more valuable than the other, but that we must acknowledge BOTH!
This has been my message to you over the last few weeks with the “Look in the Mirror” Exercise and “Inner Strength Worksheet” downloads: to recognize that the good and bad experiences work equally to help us grow.
Do not judge your sorrow. Do not stay stagnant. With acceptance, let each guest come and go with the lesson. Most importantly, do not fall into the trap of only seeing the negative, but make a determination to shift to a more positive mindset.
We understand that we can use some encouragement with this goal which is why we created our “Inner Strength Worksheet” to help you shift your focus. There are also only 5 MORE DAYS to take advantage of our FREE 30-MINUTE Inner Strength Boost Sessions. I invite you to complete the worksheet then click the button below to sign up for a session.
Remember, there is so much to be grateful for – if we only mindfully shift our perspectives!
Enjoy, share the poem, and have a great week!