Building Success Within
Every day we find ourselves in an endless routine of waking up, going to work or classes, coming back home, going to bed, and repeating. Would this be considered a meaningful life for you? A meaningful life is defined as “a construct having to do with the purpose, significance, fulfillment, and satisfaction of life.” But what is a meaningful life? What are the values that make life meaningful for someone, and is it the same for everyone?
In a study conducted by the Pew Research Center across 17 countries, they found the most and least common values of a meaningful life around the world. The universal value that gives people the most meaning in life is family, followed closely by occupation and health.
Family is the value that most people think of when defining a meaningful life. For some, it is being able to spend time with family and watch their accomplishments in life. However, it is the close relationships of others that support you through tough times and give you a sense of purpose and satisfaction. Your life has meaning to others; they desire your presence and cherish their time with you.
Occupation is a value that is highly considered by people because it gives their lives meaning. It is the feeling of pride and satisfaction for yourself for getting through one portion of life. It describes one’s identity and gives structure to our lives, as without a job, what would we do? It is fulfilling for some to work through challenges to be able to appreciate the simpler things in their lives.
Health is a very important value in life; some countries value it more than others, but it can be an overlooked value. Without proper physical and mental health, it can be difficult to enjoy your life. With proper physical and mental health, you have more freedom to enjoy what you want and find more fulfillment and satisfaction in everyday activities.
Practical Strategies for Behavior Change
Habits are something we all have, good or bad; they are ingrained into our behavior. They can be hard to break, but that does not make them impossible to change. With time, motivation, and dedication, it is possible to change.
Habits are something we all have, good or bad; they are ingrained into our behavior. How habits form is due to constant repetition, enough that our body and mind think it is natural for this behavior. Some habits can become detrimental to our physical and mental health, and it is imperative that these habits change.
Understand that your habit may not be the best for you, to do so, consider these methods to change your behavior. Please note that changing habits is not something that can happen instantly; it does take time and effort, but if your mind is determined to change, then it will make the process easier.
Right mindset. Change may seem daunting, especially if these habits were created as coping mechanisms, but change is possible. Having the right mindset can impact how susceptible we are to the concept of change. Understand that this habit you have may not be the best habit to have; it might not be a productive habit or a form of overindulgence.
Know what triggers this habit. To change a habit, change your environment to one that allows you to be more susceptible to change. Understanding your triggers means you can possibly eliminate them and not risk falling back into the original habit.
Find alternatives to reduce stress. Typically, habits are created as a coping mechanism, something that boosts your dopamine, but again, some of these methods are not considered the best option. When trying to change your habit, there is a point where you can feel the urge to go back to that coping mechanism, but you know you cannot, and stress accumulates. Find alternatives or compromises to release this stress.
Habits could be hard to break, but that does not make them impossible to change. With time, motivation, and dedication, it is possible to change. Of course, this can only happen with the right mindset before, during, and after the process. Be open to changing your habits. Be confident and positive that your efforts are making a difference. Be proud when you start a new habit that is more beneficial for yourself.
How to Maximize Your Rest - Part 2
In Part 1 of How to Maximize Your Rest, we discussed four of the seven types of rest: physical, mental, spiritual, and emotional. In Part 2, we will discuss the last three types: sensory, social, and creative.
Sensory rest is a rest we don’t often consider with how dependent we are on electronics. However, our emotions, energy levels, and how we act can be heavily affected by our sensory environments. It is easy to become negatively affected by social media or overwhelmed by all the information around us. To be able to have sensory rest, try the following:
Find a quiet place away from distractions, and just close your eyes.
Limit screen time and artificial light.
Avoid noisy environments or use noise-canceling headphones.
Social rest is a type of rest that introverts know best, but everyone should take the time to have social rest. We often don’t realize how tired we feel from social interactions until afterward, when we are alone. We don’t realize which types of people we socialize with exhaust us more than revive us. Having social rest is necessary to be able to re-energize yourself for another social interaction. If you are feeling social exhaustion, try the following:
Set boundaries by communicating what you need in social situations.
Schedule a time for yourself to rest.
Find relationships with people who support you.
Say no to social events whenever you feel overwhelmed.
Creative rest is not just for artists; it is necessary whenever you have to do problem-solving or brainstorming. Artist’s block is the result of a lack of creative rest when you lack the motivation or inspiration to do anything creative. To be able to regain creativity, try the following:
Enjoy your environment without overthinking it; just appreciate the beauty around you.
Try new experiences that are outside your comfort zone.
Surround yourself with other inspirational people who understand and encourage your creativity.
Spend some time reading or watching something you like that can inspire you.
Sensory, social, and creative rest are often overlooked types of rest, but they are just as crucial. With how much technology, interaction, and overthinking we do, we don’t realize how drained we feel until afterward. All types of rest are necessary, and while it can be difficult to get one, it is not impossible to do. Take a few minutes of silence and close your eyes. Don’t think about anything but the silence. Take an hour for yourself, try avoiding using technology, and instead catch up on the rest that you do need. Taking a break to rest is crucial to not burning out. Do not forget that your body needs this rest.
How to Maximize Your Rest - Part 1
Burnout is prevalent these days as we continue to push ourselves to work and work without any rest, but we forget that rest is important for us to function properly. It was Dr. Saundra Dalton-Smith who found that her patients often reported the lack of seven different types of rest: physical, mental, spiritual, emotional, sensory, social, and creative.
Physical rest is one most are familiar with; it is allowing your body to get an adequate amount of sleep while also allowing your body to recover from daily activities, exercise, or physical strain. The obvious signs that you are not getting enough physical rest are aches and swelling in parts of your body. Here are some ways to improve and increase your physical rest:
Try having a consistent sleep schedule.
Create a better sleeping environment that would allow you to sleep right away.
Try doing yoga or stretching before bed.
Have a massage.
Avoid caffeine or heavy meals before going to bed.
Try to avoid using electronics before going to bed.
Don’t go into your bed until you are ready to sleep, as this conditions your brain to believe it is a sleeping space.
Mental rest is the type of rest that has always been at the top for deficiency. Our brains are constantly in use, and we find ourselves overthinking until late at night, unable to sleep. Here are some solutions to improve your mental rest:
Have breaks every few hours to clear your mind.
Journal throughout the day.
While walking or running, focus on your breathing and your environment.
Set some time aside from electronics.
Set aside some time to do hobbies or leisure activities.
Spiritual rest is one of the more difficult types of rest to define, as everyone has different beliefs, but it can be summed up as the need to have a purpose, a sense of belonging, and receive love from others. A lack of spiritual rest can leave you restless and unable to believe that anything you do matters. To increase and improve your spiritual rest, try the following:
Engage in mediation or a prayer.
Spend time in nature to be more connected to the world.
Participate in community services.
Practice gratitude through journaling or thanking those around you.
Emotional rest is crucial for how often our feelings are masked in social settings. Often the answer to the question “How are you?” or “Are you okay?” is “I’m fine,” but people are never just fine. Emotional rest is necessary to express yourself without judgment and be more relaxed. Those who are not emotionally rested tend to be more on guard and unable to express their emotions. To have emotional rest, try the following:
Share how you feel with a trusted person, a friend, a family member, or a therapist.
Practice self-compassion and remind yourself that it is fine to feel overwhelmed.
Engage in activities that bring joy or release pent-up emotions, such as hobbies or exercising.
Set boundaries with people who often cause you to be emotionally drained.
Physical, mental, spiritual, and emotional rest are only four of the seven types of rest (the following three will be covered in part two of this two-part series). Many of us struggle with getting enough of just one type of rest, but it is not impossible. Take at least a few minutes to breathe, to clear your mind, and to regroup yourself. Take at least an hour for yourself to do nothing or something you like. Taking a break to rest is crucial to not burning out. Do not forget that your body needs this rest.
Friend not Therapist - Part 2
"Am I treating my friend as my therapist?" This question can be difficult to answer. No one wants to admit they have taken advantage of their friend, but it is best to see the signs and admit it, for the sake of your friendship.
In part one, we talked about how to stop being a therapist to a friend. Some methods discussed were to set boundaries with your friend in order to fix and maintain a more equal relationship.
For part two, let's talk about the opposite, "Am I treating my friend as my therapist?" This question can be more difficult to answer. No one wants to admit they have taken advantage of their friend, but it is best to see the signs and admit it, for the sake of your friendship.
Are you treating your friend as your therapist? Ask yourself these questions, “do you…
“Mostly reach out to your friend when you’re feeling down?”
“Do the majority of the talking when you and your friend get together?”
“Talk about your problems with your friend more than you talk about anything else?”
“Go into conversations with your friend hoping for resolutions to your problems?”
“Rarely ask how your friend is doing and then pause and simply listen?”
If you answer “yes” to the majority of these questions then you are treating your friend as your therapist. You may feel guilty venting to them at times, but they always reassure you that it’s fine and give you advice or simply listen. You might consider your friend to be just a really good friend who listens to your problems and is by your side no matter what. Yet there is their point of view that can be obscured by your rush of emotions. You may not realize how often you vent to them, how busy they are, or how tired they feel yet they still listen to you.
There are a lot of signs that show your friend is tired of being your therapist friend but does not know how to show it besides trying to set a boundary. If you acknowledge any of your actions to the questions previously mentioned then congratulations, you have completed one method you can do to fix your imbalanced friendship.
“Practice self-awareness.” Be self-aware of how your friend feels when you are venting. It can be difficult when all you want to do is release all the frustration, anger, and stress you feel. Yet while all of these emotions are released from you, they go into your friend. Your friend is being empathetic to your situation and feels what you are feeling. Be aware if they are starting to feel overwhelmed by your negative emotions, take a break and breathe not just for them but for yourself. Distract yourself by asking about them, remember friendship requires both people to talk not just one person.
“Check in with them.” Similarly, consider checking in with your friends, don’t just contact them when you want to vent, but just to see how they feel. If you are contacting them because you want to vent again, ask them if they are free first, know what they are doing, and if they have the time and energy to listen to you.
“Seek professional help.” It can be difficult to admit, especially with the stigma around mental health, but there is a point when you have to admit you need professional help. If you find yourself repeatedly venting to your friend about the same topic over and over again or if you find yourself feeling constantly sad, anxious, or rushing to drastic thoughts and actions; then it is best to seek a professional. You may not realize it or acknowledge it but you may have a mental health illness that your friend is not capable of dealing with. A professional knows how to help and how to react to your drastic actions that your friend cannot. Sometimes seeking a third party is the healthiest option for both you and your friend’s mental health.
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